The Twinkie Curtain Descends

From the deplorably parochial coverage in the U.S. media, you’d almost get the impression that those iconic American delicacies of Twinkies and Wonder Bread have ceased production. That’s not true. They’ve just ceased production for Americans. Up north, the streets are paved with Twinkies, and every Canadian is walking in a Winter Wonderbreadland:

Twinkie and Wonder Bread lovers in the U.S. can still head north of the border to stock up on the baked goods even with the bankruptcy of Hostess Brands Inc.

Saputo Inc. (SAP), Canada’s largest dairy processor, has the trademark and brand rights to Hostess CupCakes and Hostess Twinkies in the country and manufactures the products themselves, said Sandy Vassiadis, a spokeswoman for the company.

“It’s totally separate,” she said, in an interview from Saputo’s headquarters near Montreal. “We own the rights in Canada so what’s happening in the U.S. doesn’t affect us.”

Happy the man who can say that as the fiscal cliff looms.

As pitiful Twinkieless Americans stampede for Vancouver, Windsor and Niagara, it would be tempting for gloating Canadians to descend into Twinkie triumphalism. But fortunately they’re mindful of Churchill’s injunction — in victory, magnanimity:

Sorry, guys, but we continue to beat your asses. (While making them bigger…)

P.S. If you want your authentically all-American Canadian-made Twinkies, my advice is get them soon, before the zealots of U.S. Homeland Security raise them to the threat level of Kinder Eggs.

Mark Steyn — Mark Steyn is an international bestselling author, a Top 41 recording artist, and a leading Canadian human-rights activist. That’s to say, his latest book, After America (2011), is a top-five bestseller in ...

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