The Corner

We’re Chevron: We Help Kids Make Robots

There’s an old story about the late great Julian Simon going to an oil facility in Alaska and being given a tour. The flack kept touting the installation’s “environmental benefits” so much that Simon eventually shouted in exasperation, “What do you produce here, oil or environmental benefits?”

For quite a while now oil companies have taken a similar approach to their advertising campaigns. Since long before the Gulf Oil spill, we’ve been complaining around here about the idiocy of BP’s “Beyond Petroleum” campaign. It’s like widget companies touting how ashamed they are to make widgets.

These days the commercial that’s getting my goat the most is this Chevron commercial, which is part of their “Human Energy” campaign (No they’re not drilling for humans). The message is “Science is cool.”  That’s great, because you know who kids today look to for guidance on what’s cool? Big multinational petroleum companies. It seems like every episode of iCarly is about how Sam, Carly and Gibby can’t wait to find out what ExxonMobile is wearing or what songs are on Citgo’s iPod.

Still, my biggest gripe isn’t so much the content but its ubiquity. The thing is just on the air constantly, at least on my cable system.

 

 

 

It’s nice that that the oil giant helps kids make robots and that they think it’s “cool.” You know what I would think would be really cool, if I was a Chevron stockholder? If Chevron thought sky high profits were cool.

A couple years ago, I made the case for oil companies embracing their evil image. Specifically BP should move beyond “Beyond Petroleum” to “Badass Petroleum.” Maybe Chevron could run with the idea? “We’re Chevron: We don’t care if kids can make robots. We Make It Rain Benjamins for Shareholders.”

Most Popular

U.S.

The Gun-Control Debate Could Break America

Last night, the nation witnessed what looked a lot like an extended version of the famous “two minutes hate” from George Orwell’s novel 1984. During a CNN town hall on gun control, a furious crowd of Americans jeered at two conservatives, Marco Rubio and Dana Loesch, who stood in defense of the Second ... Read More
Law & the Courts

Obstruction Confusions

In his Lawfare critique of one of my several columns about the purported obstruction case against President Trump, Gabriel Schoenfeld loses me — as I suspect he will lose others — when he says of himself, “I do not think I am Trump-deranged.” Gabe graciously expresses fondness for me, and the feeling is ... Read More
Politics & Policy

Students’ Anti-Gun Views

Are children innocents or are they leaders? Are teenagers fully autonomous decision-makers, or are they lumps of mental clay, still being molded by unfolding brain development? The Left seems to have a particularly hard time deciding these days. Take, for example, the high-school students from Parkland, ... Read More
PC Culture

Kill Chic

We live in a society in which gratuitous violence is the trademark of video games, movies, and popular music. Kill this, shoot that in repugnant detail becomes a race to the visual and spoken bottom. We have gone from Sam Peckinpah’s realistic portrayal of violent death to a gory ritual of metal ripping ... Read More