It’s been over a week now, but I can’t get a skit from Saturday Night Live out of my head. It was an Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers news-commentary skit about the Health and Human Services mandate, the Virginia ultrasound bill, and a little Foster Friess because they couldn’t resist.
You can watch here, if you haven’t seen it. And here is a transcript, in case you are hesitant to click at work:
S: This week the birth control debate came to the forefront again after Congressman Darrell Issa called a hearing on President Obama’s healthcare mandate but failed to invite any women to join the panel. That brings us to a segment we like to call, “Really!?! With Seth & Amy.”
S: Ready to do this? Let’s do it.
A: Really. Really, Congress? You held a Congressional committee on reproductive rights and you did not invite any women. Really. That would be like not inviting any men to a Congressional committee debating the Maxim Top 100. Really.
S: Really. And really, men have to be smarter when they talk about birth control. This week Foster Friess, the billionaire backer of Rick Santorum, joked that when he was young women held an aspirin between their knees for birth control. Good one, but do you really want to start a discussion of health care with, “When I was young”? When you were young people died of Polio. I mean, really.
A: Really. Now later in the week Friess apologized for his comments. Well, we’d love to accept your apology Foster, but you made a mistake and now you’re going to have to live with that mistake for the rest of your life. Really!
A: And you know why we need birth control? There are too many people! Do you guys remember the opening ceremony at the Chinese Olympics? They built pyramids out of people! Pyramids!
S: There were people pyramids!
A: People pyramids! That should be an advertisement for condoms.
S: Meanwhile both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum used the rhythm method, and with five and eight kids respectively it seems like they might have even less rhythm than we thought. I mean really.
A: Really. The Virginia House of Representatives this week passed a bill that required women to have a transvaginal ultrasound before having an abortion. Really. Now don’t get me wrong, I love transvaginal. It’s my favorite airline. I got so many miles on transvaginal that I always get upgraded to lady business.
S: But Virginia wasn’t done. They also passed a bill that says life begins at conception. What’s next? Life begins at last call? Life begins when you click ‘send’ on your match.com profile? I mean really.
A: Really. Mike Huckabee joined the fight against President Obama’s mandate saying, “We’re all Catholic now.” Really? You know who is not ‘all Catholic now’? All Catholics now! Ninety-eight percent of Catholic women say they’ve used birth control and the other two percent are always the ones trying to get a church to start a softball team. Really!
A: Don’t tell me what to do!
So much to say. One might begin by pointing out that the Issa hearing included two panels, one of which had two women on it — not to mention the women who serve on the committee. But why bother with facts?
A friend writes after watching it:
I’ve got a “really?” for them:
I see. So, that’s how the moral traditions of western civilization ends — not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with Seth and Amy yukking it up about Transvaginal airlines. They could have been court jesters to the Emperor Nero.
– In this day and age, contraceptives are like pez. You can get them anywhere, for next to nothing — from 90 percent of employer health-insurance policies; from federally funded health clinics and hospitals; from vending machines in high schools; from the bathroom in some of your finer truck stops.
– And so, it turns out, nobody’s having babies anymore! Not even the Italians and the Greeks and the Spaniards — which is why their economies are tanking, but never mind.
– But here’s the thing: President Obama is worried that somewhere, out there, some poor woman might be forced into the awful choice of having to decide — ”Do I download the latest Lady Gaga album on i-Tunes or pay for my Nuva-Ring this month?”
– And so, President Obama thinks: I know what to do! I’ll just force a bunch of monks and nuns to violate their consciences and pay for the Nuva-Ring! Then we’ll be a hundred percent sure not to have any more babies!
I realize it’s a silly skit, but this is our culture. The comedy shows and the White House are on the same page.
Last week, in that “Religious Liberty: Obamacare’s First Casualty” video the Heritage Foundation put together, Representative Marsha Blackburn said, “The American people have been awakened to what this administration is doing. It will be a fight. And I believe it will be a worthy fight.”
I pray that’s true. But have they gotten the wake-up call? Has a majority? Or are we laughing as our country changes under our watch?