My Suggestions for Tonight’s WHCA Dinner

Here’s a list of topics I hope Conan O’Brien jokes about at tonight’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. I mean, what’s funnier than major news stories on how the whole world is falling apart?

French troops begin their withdrawal from Mali. But not to fear, the UN is sending 13,000 peacekeepers. I hope they test the peacekeepers for cholera this time.

Church attacked in Egypt.

New fatwa says rape in Syria is OK as long as it’s a non-Sunni woman.

Out: Red line in Syria. New red line in Syria.

Shocker: China might have lied about the terrorist attack in Xinjiang.

Sunnis forming a “tribal army” in Iraq.

North Africa is becoming the new Afghanistan.

But, hey, it’s not all bad. The government did fix the FAA mess. . .

. . .And just as soon as they correct the typo in the bill, the president can sign it.

I hope the delay in the FAA bill doesn’t affect Lindsay Lohan’s flight. It really would be a shame if she missed such an important event. 

Most Popular


The Gun-Control Debate Could Break America

Last night, the nation witnessed what looked a lot like an extended version of the famous “two minutes hate” from George Orwell’s novel 1984. During a CNN town hall on gun control, a furious crowd of Americans jeered at two conservatives, Marco Rubio and Dana Loesch, who stood in defense of the Second ... Read More
Film & TV

Why We Can’t Have Wakanda

SPOILERS AHEAD Black Panther is a really good movie that lives up to the hype in just about every way. Surely someone at Marvel Studios had an early doubt, reading the script and thinking: “Wait, we’re going to have hundreds of African warriors in brightly colored tribal garb, using ancient weapons, ... Read More
Law & the Courts

Obstruction Confusions

In his Lawfare critique of one of my several columns about the purported obstruction case against President Trump, Gabriel Schoenfeld loses me — as I suspect he will lose others — when he says of himself, “I do not think I am Trump-deranged.” Gabe graciously expresses fondness for me, and the feeling is ... Read More
Politics & Policy

Students’ Anti-Gun Views

Are children innocents or are they leaders? Are teenagers fully autonomous decision-makers, or are they lumps of mental clay, still being molded by unfolding brain development? The Left seems to have a particularly hard time deciding these days. Take, for example, the high-school students from Parkland, ... Read More