Mother Jones: Global Warming Is Creating Cannibal-Lobsters

Oh, global warming — is there nothing you can’t do? Mother Jones breathlessly reports:

Here Is a Video of One Lobster Eating Another Lobster

Warming seas turn our favorite crustaceans into cannibals.

But this really isn’t news. Cannibalism among lobsters in captivity or in a trap is common. Those little bands on a lobster’s claws at your favorite eatery are to keep the lobsters from killing each other, not from pinching the chef. 

And read the actual reporting on the experiment that Mother Jones uses to declare the cannibalism epidemic. Basically, the scientist tied a juvenile lobster to a string on the bottom of the ocean so it couldn’t escape and then filmed what happened. When adult lobsters took advantage of the tethered youngster for an easy snack, this became news or science or something. The author of the paper offers this caveat:

Oppenheim’s discovery, by his own admission, is at best preliminary: The real proof that it’s a lobster-eat-lobster world down there will come only after he dispenses with the tethers and finds a way to see whether a juvenile lobster can actually escape the nighttime cannibals if given the chance.

Usually the alarmists cite polar-bear cannibalism as the poster-child of degenerate feeding caused by global warming, but it seems we’ve moved on to crustaceans. 

Maybe we can catch cannibalistic lobsters in Maine and airdrop them to the cannibalistic polar bears in Alaska? Problem solved!

Be warned, however. Our changing climate and cannibalism among lesser species is only the tip of the melting iceberg. There is evidence that humans practiced cannibalism at the Jamestown colony, eating a 14-year-old girl during the harsh winter of 1609

The good news is, thanks to global warming, hungry Americans can now eat lobster instead of unfortunate teenagers.


Most Popular


The Gun-Control Debate Could Break America

Last night, the nation witnessed what looked a lot like an extended version of the famous “two minutes hate” from George Orwell’s novel 1984. During a CNN town hall on gun control, a furious crowd of Americans jeered at two conservatives, Marco Rubio and Dana Loesch, who stood in defense of the Second ... Read More
Law & the Courts

Obstruction Confusions

In his Lawfare critique of one of my several columns about the purported obstruction case against President Trump, Gabriel Schoenfeld loses me — as I suspect he will lose others — when he says of himself, “I do not think I am Trump-deranged.” Gabe graciously expresses fondness for me, and the feeling is ... Read More
Politics & Policy

Students’ Anti-Gun Views

Are children innocents or are they leaders? Are teenagers fully autonomous decision-makers, or are they lumps of mental clay, still being molded by unfolding brain development? The Left seems to have a particularly hard time deciding these days. Take, for example, the high-school students from Parkland, ... Read More
PC Culture

Kill Chic

We live in a society in which gratuitous violence is the trademark of video games, movies, and popular music. Kill this, shoot that in repugnant detail becomes a race to the visual and spoken bottom. We have gone from Sam Peckinpah’s realistic portrayal of violent death to a gory ritual of metal ripping ... Read More