Postseason Predictions from the Acela Quiet Car

You go, Cinderella!

AL

Orioles over Rangers.

A’s over Tigers.

Orioles over Yankees.

A’s over Orioles.

NL

Cardinals over Braves.

Giants over Reds.

Nationals over Cardinals.

Nationals over Giants.

And the winner of the 2012 World Series?

The Oakland A’s in six games.

Josh Reddick will earn MVP honors. In the clincher, Derek Norris, one of the players acquired in the Gio Gonzalez trade, will break a scoreless tie in the seventh inning with a go-ahead home run off of the Cy Young Award candidate.

If these predictions come true, kindly remember me when you fill out your will.

If not, recall that the postseason is, in the words of a certain general manager, merely “a crapshoot.”

EDIT: In case you were wondering, the Acela’s WiFi worked like a charm the entire time I was on board. (That doesn’t seem to happen very often.)

Most Popular

Politics & Policy

Students’ Anti-Gun Views

Are children innocents or are they leaders? Are teenagers fully autonomous decision-makers, or are they lumps of mental clay, still being molded by unfolding brain development? The Left seems to have a particularly hard time deciding these days. Take, for example, the high-school students from Parkland, ... Read More
PC Culture

Kill Chic

We live in a society in which gratuitous violence is the trademark of video games, movies, and popular music. Kill this, shoot that in repugnant detail becomes a race to the visual and spoken bottom. We have gone from Sam Peckinpah’s realistic portrayal of violent death to a gory ritual of metal ripping ... Read More
Elections

Romney Is a Misfit for America

Mitt’s back. The former governor of Massachusetts and occasional native son of Michigan has a new persona: Mr. Utah. He’s going to bring Utah conservatism to the whole Republican party and to the country at large. Wholesome, efficient, industrious, faithful. “Utah has a lot to teach the politicians in ... Read More
Law & the Courts

What the Second Amendment Means Today

The horrifying school massacre in Parkland, Fla., has prompted another national debate about guns. Unfortunately, it seems that these conversations are never terribly constructive — they are too often dominated by screeching extremists on both sides of the aisle and armchair pundits who offer sweeping opinions ... Read More
U.S.

Fire the FBI Chief

American government is supposed to look and sound like George Washington. What it actually looks and sounds like is Henry Hill from Goodfellas: bad suit, hand out, intoning the eternal mantra: “F*** you, pay me.” American government mostly works by interposition, standing between us, the free people at ... Read More
Film & TV

Black Panther’s Circle of Hype

The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) first infantilizes its audience, then banalizes it, and, finally, controls it through marketing. This commercial strategy, geared toward adolescents of all ages, resembles the Democratic party’s political manipulation of black Americans, targeting that audience through its ... Read More