Look, I know America’s going through some tough times right now. I know that some days, the news can be depressing, as if there’s no sense of hope. Sometimes it feels like the epic problems are stacking up like a Dagwood sandwich — unbelievable debt, long-term unemployment, a housing market with no signs of rebound, a war in Libya that’s poorly explained with no long-term strategy, a fight in Afghanistan that just seems to go on forever with no sense of progress, maniacs in Afghanistan and Pakistan killing over a burned book, violence on our southern border getting worse, natural disasters, nuclear reactors on the edge of disaster, governments shaking and falling in the Middle East with no real sense of what will replace them . . .
But we know that we don’t need to worry about it all coming to a horrific end until somebody who watches and worries over all of these crises, like Glenn Beck, suddenly stops doing his show and . . .
. . . Oh, fudge.
(Actually, rumors of a Beck–Fox News split had been going around for a while . . . so this isn’t a sign of the Apocalypse.