Greetings and welcome to this settling-into-the-groove 53rd performance of the Carnival of Fools! Yes, we’ve almost gotten it down now — the new moves and updated stage routines that were rolled out for the crowd on January 20. The Trump Show has begun to take on a surprisingly predictable rhythm and familiar flow. Either that or I’ve developed a sixth sense for when Trump is content to cede the spotlight for a moment to lesser fools and when he’s about to pop his head out from behind the curtain and take over the media show himself. This week, our Ringmaster has returned.
Donald Trump, Tamer of Lions and Lesser Beasts
For that really is how Trump conceives of it all: as a media circus, a grand entertainment for the masses, and one he leads like a lion-tamer, demonstrating his mastery of seemingly dangerous (but in reality docile) beasts. I just finished writing a piece that explains my grand theory of Trump’s media strategy and its effect on mainstream journalism and American politics during this second term. Look for it in National Review magazine — going live right here on September 18, and then winging its paper way to print subscribers.
But if you’ve been regularly attending performances of the Carnival of Fools, you’re probably already familiar with several of the argument’s beats, because I’ve been assembling it here over the past seven months’ worth of observation: Donald Trump truly believes he can create his own narratives by leveraging the unique powers of the presidency — and his own uncanny sense of showmanship — to dictate the terms on which the mainstream media cover his administration. The MSM will fight on his chosen political ground, not theirs.
With each new executive order, press conference announcement, Truth Social threat, abortive initiative to annex Greenland, and the like, Trump leads the media around on a leash. He sincerely believes that winning the coverage will help him win the opinion battle with the public.
It’s a fine piece, and I can’t wait until it goes live. But as I filed it on early Saturday morning, I felt a twinge because I knew. I knew it would inevitably be overtaken by events prior to publication, and that my thesis would soon become a commonplace. What I didn’t know is that manifest proof of my argument would appear only a few hours later.
President Kilgore Trolls Chicago
Surely you have heard by now about the president’s latest provocation, only the loudest in a series of sabers he has rattled against my metropolis. On Saturday afternoon, he posted an AI image of himself as Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore from Apocalypse Now, kneeling in the foreground somewhere on Lake Michigan as napalm flames burn around him and military choppers head toward the downtown Loop. “‘I love the smell of deportations in the morning . . .’ Chicago about to find out why it’s called the Department of WAR [helicopter emoji x3].” (If Donald Trump is under the impression that “Charlie don’t surf,” I regret to inform him that here in Chicago, our most fervent Communists don’t have to — they own yachts.)
When asked later by a reporter whether he was “trying to go to war with Chicago,” Trump happily gaslighted her, saying, “When you say that, darling, it’s fake news.” He proceeded to lecture her: “Listen. Be quiet. You don’t listen, you never listen, that’s why you’re second grade. We’re not going to war. We’re going to clean up our cities. We’re gonna clean ’em up so they don’t kill five people every weekend. That’s not war, that’s common sense.”
That’s also quite interesting, because the image Trump posted said nothing whatsoever about street crime. It mentioned deportations. The confusion is not accidental. Trump’s sole constitutional excuse for sending the National Guard into Chicago against the will of the mayor and the governor would be to protect federal operations like ICE raids, so that is what his communications team is emphasizing. But Trump himself knows that the hot story right now is about urban street crime. He wants the Guard patrolling Michigan Avenue the way they currently do in downtown Washington. He wants the protests and clashes that would come from it. And he wants to own the issue lock, stock, and barrel politically, forcing Democrats to take the opposing side — in other words, the side of criminals.
The only problem is that Donald Trump has as much legal authority to send the National Guard into Chicago to handle street policing as I do: none at all. Hence the messaging about deportations from more disciplined quarters, as contrasted with Trump’s true desires. (Logic suggests that the plan is to use the expected violent and/or disruptive protests against ICE raids — as predictable as a lake breeze in the town that invented modern U.S. urban activism — as a pretext for calling in the Guard. Then who knows what assignments they will be given.)
Beyond that, it is yet another example of Trump’s media-political strategy in action: Every paper and cable news outlet is now dangling on Trump’s strings, reporting breathlessly — “Will he or won’t he?” Huffy commentaries are leading most every mainstream site, many focused on Trump’s “horrifying” and “dangerous” rhetoric. The whole world is talking about the topic Trump wants them to talk about. And all it took was a simple act of trolling.
But of course the media are getting what they want as well: Headlines. Controversy. Content. Clicks. This (ongoing and long-standing) mutual parasitism between Trump and his media detractors lies at the core of his media strategy: Both parties benefit in some way, even as Trump takes the leading, dominant role.
As for me, I am both resigned to it all and disgusted. I recognize my complete and utter powerlessness as one of approximately 30 remaining conservative Republicans in the city of Chicago — a minority now not only within my city and state but within my own chosen party as well — and frankly just want Trump to get it over with. Figure out whether you’re going to violate the U.S. Constitution outright or merely test it to its breaking point, Donald — we’ll talk after. I have said my piece about it multiple times at this point, and I have nothing left to add until and unless Trump rolls tanks down Wacker Drive.
The Grifters Are Everywhere
Last week, I wrote about the revelation that several of the internet’s most prominent left-leaning social media influencers were officially on the take — involving serious money — for a secretive Democratic organization that signed them to strict nondisclosure agreements and exercised message control on all political topics. It was a funny enough story — a proper public humiliation for people whose politics are as fraudulent as their ethics — but I couldn’t take as much pleasure in it as others, for I wondered at what similar embarrassments might be found among the online right:
It would be easy enough to laugh at Democrats, to dismiss this humiliation as yet more evidence that they are an unpopular group of sad frauds who need to pay for their online influencers the way maladjusted losers frequent brothels. But then I ask myself where all that Qatari and Chinese money goes. And I ponder the message coordination of so many rightoid influencers. And I begin to wonder. I wonder who on my side — or anyone I’ve taken on good faith — in fact secretly practices the world’s oldest profession.
Silly me, I forgot to mention the Indians! Mere days after I wrote that paragraph, a minor scandal rippled around Twitter/X, when several popular MAGA-themed accounts (including “@DefiantLs,” whose hackish content is ubiquitous in my feed) began parroting the same talking points such that one might conclude they were on the take for Narendra Modi’s Indian government; all broke character momentarily to tweet out an exhortation to readers to oppose tariffs on Indian oil exports. (It was almost touchingly clumsy as an attempt at “influencing”; were we expected to believe that an account named “Defiant Ls” had suddenly developed intense opinions about international trade?)
Readers, I too want to break character for a moment and make a serious promise to you: If I ever sell out to foreign interests, I will at least make them plausible ones. You won’t even notice the pro-Slovenian propaganda as it creeps into my columns over time. (Have you considered the natural wonders waiting for you to discover in the beautiful mountain resort of Kranjska Gora?) I will also be sure to extract a proper price for my services. Eric Adams sold his loyalties to Turkey in exchange for extra legroom on transatlantic flights; I will demand at least a private island for my services to Agrabah.
But until then, I once again urge you to think about this seemingly minor incident in terms of the Rule of Roaches: If you find one inside your house, rest assured, it brought company. And before you go searching, be prepared for what you may find.
Until next week.