America has a lot of secrets: the nuclear launch codes, what’s going on at Area 51, Bigfoot, why the Denver International Airport seems so odd, whatever happened to D. B. Cooper, and exactly what evidence convinced several U.S. government agencies that the most likely cause of the Covid-19 pandemic was a lab leak.
And over at the Democratic National Committee, they’re locking up the biggest secret of all: why the Democrats lost the 2024 election.
In a move that should unleash harsh criticism and recriminations, the Democratic National Committee has decided against publicly releasing its long-awaited report on the 2024 election, which could end up protecting key actors inside the party from accountability over the blown but winnable contest.
The DNC has completed the report after extensive data analysis and hundreds of interviews in all 50 states. But according to a DNC official, the committee determined that releasing it would spark a media frenzy and retrospective finger-pointing that could divide the party and distract from its winning streak in recent elections.
“Here’s our North Star: does this help us win?” DNC Chair Ken Martin said in a statement given to The New Republic and a handful of other media outlets in advance of its wider release. “If the answer is no, it’s a distraction from the core mission.”
You see, the DNC spent a decent amount of time and money on a comprehensive review, and it has decided that the best way to apply the lessons from that review is to not let anyone ever see it. Apparently, the autopsy did not conclude that excessive secrecy at the highest levels of the Democratic Party was a problem.
You can just picture The X-Files’ Fox Mulder pounding on a locked door, shouting that the American public has a right to know the answer to this mystery. And then the Cigarette Smoking Man would appear, take a long drag, and gloat that Americans will never know why Democrats absolutely flopped on Election Day 2024.