There is a plot being hatched by those perfidious, non-breeding, non-church-going, Islam-whipped, decadent Europeans, who write their dates the wrong way round, to declare 22/7 (which is to say, in their perverted scale of values, July 22) as Pi Day, on the laughable pretext that it is “more accurate” than 3/14. Hold on a minute… well, so it is, slightly more accurate. None the less, we should stand up and assert our God-given right as Americans to celebrate Pi Day in our own traditional and customary way. March 14! March 14! And don’t forget–we get a lunar eclipse too! Take that, you contemptible Euro-weenies! Zap! Pow!
For readers who have not yet got their Pi Day mugs, T-shirts, and tchotchkes, there is still time. Here is the mother lode.