A brief report from the sky:
Airlines are, of course, run by the dumbest people in all of capitalism — about this there is no serious debate — but the new announcements from American Airlines are in a special category: “This flight,” the nice lady says in that sickly sweet recorded Pepto Bismol voice, “is on its way to one of our many destinations.”
Really? This flight is on its way to one of your many destinations? Well, put out a Muppet News Flash! Let me see if I understand the complexities here: A flight, American Airlines is saying, is going to a destination. That is some ground-breaking stuff right there.
What would be the alternative? “This flight is just going to cruise around until we run out of fuel and then land randomly at the first place that looks promising. Good luck!”
An airline is what you get when you give a 7-Eleven wings and a lobotomy.
“We’ll be on the ground in 20 minutes.” I’m sure we will, one way or another.