A reader provides an alternative to his baptism by Dr. Dobson:
According to a rumor I’m starting, Romney will be announcing his conversion to Judaism. This is why the speech is scheduled during Hannukah, so he can stand in front of a lit menorah.
UPDATE: As if we hadn’t gotten silly enough:
Your reader made me laugh but I think the better solution for Romney would be to become a tree worshiper. The Mormon problem goes away and so would the gardeners.