Every skill he needs to do his current job he learned working in his dad’s bar, House speaker John Boehner told Jay Leno on Thursday night. Chief among them: “You have to learn to deal with every jacka** that walks in the door.”

That requires the speaker, at times, to be the “big-brother figure,” at others, “the father figure” or “the dean of students or the principal.” “Some of them I have to the Gestapo,” he said.

Boehner described his job as “trying to get 218 frogs in a wheelbarrow long enough to pass a bill.” Nonetheless, he said he welcomes the diversity of his caucus and praised the Tea Barty for bringing “great energy to the political process.”

The conspicuously titian-skinned lawmaker denied that he uses a tanning bed. “I’m a little dark,” he said. “There are no tanning beds, there are no spray things, nothing.”

He shied away from endorsing a candidate for 2016, but said his friend Jeb Bush would “make a great president.” As for himself, he said has no plans or desire to run. “I like to play golf, I like to cut my own grass, I do drink red wine, I smoke cigarettes, and I’m not giving that up to be president of the United States,” Boehner said.