Reading about the Britney Spears wedding fiasco in America’s Newspaper of
Record this morning (I mean, of course, the New York Post), it occurred to me that
the root cause of this sad affair may be nothing deeper than gross
stupidity. Reading of what happened, and the recorded comments of Britney
and her husband-for-a-day, Jason Allen Alexander, it is hard to avoid the
impression that they do not possess more than half a brain between the two
of them. Jason: “We had just got through watching ‘The Texas Chain Saw
Massacre’. We were just chilling in the room about 3:30 am, and we had so
much fun just looking out at the city and the lights.” So… they went and
got married. For 55 hours. Why mince words here? What we are dealing with
is a couple of morons. These are not even air-heads–I doubt the density of
matter inside their skulls rises to the level of the interstellar vacuum.
If Hollywood’s planning another remake of DUMB AND DUMBER (which would take
a lot of nerve, considering the pig’s ear they produced with the last
remake), I have a couple of suggestions for the casting director.