Phil Rose, a friend in Seattle, writes to ask if people around here call the president “That Bush.” Writes Phil, “They don’t call him ‘President Bush’ or even ‘Bush,’ but ‘That Bush’ as in, ‘Oooooh, I hate that Bush. That Bush is mean. That Bush is stupid. That Bush spends all his time taking money away from the people and giving it to The Rich.’” Phil says he found himself wondering who this guy “The Rich” is — if he’s anything like The Donald. He started thinking of That Bush being like the Grinch, slinking from house to house, stealing purses and wallets and putting them into a huge bag for The Rich. And then Phil started to write:
THAT BUSH
The poor people dove down in Dumpsters for stuff
But The Rich, in his palace, cried “I don’t have enough!
“What to do? Who to call? What button to push?
“I know! The red one that summons That Bush!”
So The Rich pushed the button, a bell chimed “Clang! Clang!”
And up popped That Bush! And That Bush said, “You rang?”
“That Bush,” said The Rich, “I don’t have enough money.
“But the poor have some pennies — I don’t think that’s funny!
“They have what I want! And it gives me a rash!
“So run down to the town and steal all their cash!”
“Whatever you say,” said That Bush with a smirk,
“You deserve a reward for all your hard work.”
So he put on his flight suit and straightened his collar.
“I’m off now to bring you some widow’s last dollar!”
(a little further on in the story)
“Why?” asked the little girl, “Why, That Bush, why?
“Why were the things you said all a big lie?
You lied to the people again and again
You blamed nine-eleven on Saddam Hussein
You said that Iraq would be happy we came
Instead the Iraqis are cursing our name!”
“Well, little girl,” said That Bush with a grin,
“You must understand the position I’m in.
“We can’t let Iraqis achieve self-reliance
“That would cost Halliburton some valuable clients.
“You see I understood that there must be a war
“That’s why the Supreme Court picked me over Gore
“So I sent forth the children of workers who toil
“Because, after all, it IS just about oil!”
Phil writes: “I’d write it up with illustrations and try to publish it, but the liberals would probably assume that I was really making fun of Bush rather than making fun of how they do so, and they’d make me a hero, and I couldn’t take that.”