The Corner

A Clarifying Email

From a “reader”:

Sir,

Before I get to the subject at hand, it is first necessary to relay a few educated estimations as to your character.

Your political positions are generally acknowledged to be nonsense. The purity of your ancestral roots is surely dubious at best, indeed, your very genetic composition appears to be in disrepute. Your nationality has little use these days, and though I don’t know where you are from, I suspect people there are utter knobs, and the air has a funny smell to it. Trustworthy sources indicate that your religious beliefs can only be described as highly questionable. It is widely considered to be the case that your profession is distasteful, as is, incidentally, your physical stature. By now, just about everyone is aware of the dark yet eerily credible rumors that sheep seem to be regularly involved in your… well, I believe this suffices.

I hope you will find the above friendly and strictly p.c. clarifications to be of great use in personal betterment.

Sincerely — oh yeah. The fact I wanted to enlighten you about.

Osama is dead.

Has been for years, probably from right after he, quite possibly truthfully, denied responsibility for 9/11. If the neocons didn’t silence him, his kidneys did. The ridiculous tapes that surface every time Busheviks need a boost have a return address of Langley, VA.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that he won’t be killed again, and that you won’t celebrate his second going. (After all, “Zarqawi” was killed, what, 14 times?) Just try to keep reality in mind. Start trying by visiting these websites:

http://wtc7.net/

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