Yesterday, the NCAA Division I college-basketball tournament — March Madness — began. Among the games played was one in which the No. 1 seed Kansas Jayhawks faced the No. 16 seed Howard University Bison. Upsets in such matchups are rare. In men’s D1 college basketball, only the UMBC Retrievers have managed the feat, beating the UVA Cavaliers in 2018. And so it will remain: The Bison lost to the Jayhawks by almost 30 points.
And that would have been that — if noted Howard alumna Kamala Harris (currently vice president of the United States) hadn’t decided to provide a post-game pep talk. It was a perfect demonstration of her charisma and communication skills, as you can see in the video below:
Vice President Kamala Harris Delivers The Postgame Speech To Howard Men’s Basketball Team pic.twitter.com/yCNXolQPmA
— LIGHT ON COLLEGE SPORTS (@LightOnSports) March 16, 2023
If you couldn’t make it all the way through that, or don’t want to, here is a transcript:
You guys are so good. You guys are so good. You played hard. You played to the very last second. You made all us Bisons so, so proud. You hustled out there. You are smart. You are disciplined. You put everything you had into the game. And you know that’s what it’s about, right? Until the last minute. You guys did that. You didn’t stop until the last second, you did not stop. And that is so inspiring. So you keep playing with chin up and shoulders back, ’cause you showed the world who Bison are. Right? I mean, literally, what you have done is in historic proportions. Yeah, I was at Howard back in the day, where we were just happy that there was a game, much less getting to this place! Right? And I see Bison literally all over the world, and we’ve been talking about you. This team. This team. You all. This team. This year. This team. You make us so proud. So I know you may not be feeling great right now, okay? But know who you are. You are excellence. You are hard work. You are powerful. And you are winners. Alright? So please know that. Please know that. And I’ll see you later. And if you guys ever wanna come and do a White House tour — where’s the coach? Where’s coach? There you are! [Garbled] If you guys want, at some point, right, when it’s like a, when you feel like playing hooky on a Friday afternoon or whatever, just come and we’ll do a White House tour, okay? Alright. I’m so proud of you guys. So proud of you. Alright. I’ll see you later. Coach, thank you.
This is not just another politician trying — and spectacularly failing — to show an affinity for sports. (I’m looking at you, Mayor Pureval.) It is some weapons-grade cringe. Howard University’s basketball team may take months to recover from exposure to it. Teams in the vicinity likely had their motivations reduced in the fallout. Indeed, it may have transcended the space–time continuum and canceled out some of history’s greatest locker-room pep talks. One hopes that readers and other innocent bystanders are spared from its deleterious effects.
Those trying to recover from this dangerous level of exposure to cringe might benefit from watching this:
