The Corner

Competition Report–Renaming Gov’t Depts.

My proposal to rename the main departments of the feddle gummint drew a

modest response leaning rather heavily towards cynicism. After perusing

them all, I came to agree with my colleague Jay Nordlinger: a little

cynicism goes a long way. I have therefore favored mere reductionism over

cynicism in selecting the following, stitched together from contributions by

several readers.

—-Agriculture

Department of Subsidies

—-Interior

Department of Casinos

—-Commerce

Department of Junkets

—-Justice

Department of Procrastination

—-Defense

Department of War

—-Labor

Department of Regulation

—-Education

Department of Propaganda

—-State

Department of Appeasement

—-Energy

Department of Inertia

—-Transportation

Department of Pork

—-Health & Human Services

Department of Hospitals

—-Treasury

Department of Taxes

—-Homeland Security

Department of Sensitivity

—-Housing & Urban Development

Department of Slums

—-Veterans’ Affairs

[Hardly anyone had an unkind word to say, which I guess is understandable in

time of war… Though there were couple of swipes at “coddling Grandpa…”]

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