For those of you interested in joining the ranks of an elite class of conservative policy ninjas and philosophical shamans, you have only a few days left to apply to the NRI Fellows program. The deadline is Friday. At which point the massive oak doors to the Shaolin Temple of conservatism will be closed to you for another year. Not only will you learn the esoteric secrets of the rightwing illuminati, not only will you learn the five-fingers-of-death technique mastered by William F. Buckley, not only will you be allowed to imbibe the Sapho Juice that turned Ramesh Ponnuru into a mentat, not only will you be instructed in the spoon-bending mind tricks of Jay Nordlinger, but you’ll probably get to have a beer with me. Apply now, or forever wallow in your shame.