The Corner

Death Where Thy Sting

Yep, it’s that time again. A couple of week’s relentless traveling; a week of panicked dawn to dusk overwork; a change in the weather; and I have the mother of all colds.

To commemorate the event, I am writing a blues.

“We-e-e-e-ell, I woke up this mornin’,

Sneezin’ up an’ down my bed.

Sat an’ ate my breakfast,

Sneezin’ in my bread.

Lord, why d’ya have to give me

This no-good cheatin’ cold in the head….”

(Copyright 2005 by Deaf Orange Watson)

I went to the drugstore & asked the lady for the latest, greatest, & best thing to deal with a cold. “Take one of these,” she said, offering me CONINUOUS ACTION CONTAC 12-HOUR RELIEF. I took one three hours ago. The 12 hours relief didn’t start yet. Perhaps it’ll start tomorrow. Meanwhile, back to the traditional Derb remedy: a generous portion of Captain Morgan’s in a glass of warmed-up Coca Cola. As my Dad used to say: the cold’s no better, but you don’t give a damn any more.

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.

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