The Corner

Derb and Lucite

Derb, I hope a Corner reader in Dallas will

write me to tell me where I could have one of my sacred objects encased in

Lucite. It’s…well, it’s a haggis. My old friend Fr. Joe Wilson of Brooklyn

sent me a haggis earlier this year (he’s the haggis-sending sort), and while

there was no chance of my eating it, it did acquire a certain talismanic

quality. I kept the Holy Haggis of Brooklyn in my freezer reliquary, and

later found I couldn’t part with it when I moved from New York. I carried it

on the plane to Texas, and installed in the freezer here. My wife, who is a

heathen and a communiss, blasphemes it regularly, but I am thoroughly

convinced that the reason my son has been preserved from vile and unnatural

affections for the Dallas Cowboys, and that he still realizes that the

Yankees are God’s Team, is the unseen graces lavished upon our family thanks

to the relic’s presence. I would like to encase it in Lucite, so it will be

permanently incorrupt, and place it on public display in my office for the

spiritual edification of sundry pilgrims. Can anyone help?

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