“Dear Derb—It seems your constancy has paid off. You are now an actual archetype.
“‘After I picked up Gnat from school, we ran errands. Hit the video store for Disc one of season three. Went to the grocery store for everything except the thing I had intended to buy – a bag of Kraft shredded mozzarella. Then home, dinner, and work. Put Gnat to bed after she read me a Spongebob book, rated for seven-year olds. She does the voices – it’s pretty cute, since she realizes halfway into the line who’s speaking, and shifts from neutral tone to the character. She does Patrick as a happy dullard, Squidward as a nasal killjoy. I’m partial to Squidward myself – the John Derbyshire of the cartoon world, and I mean that as high praise. Bikini Bottom could devolve into riot and ruin, and Squidward would look out the window and sigh, not so much annoyed by the chaos as the preexisting presumption that it was not inevitable.’”
[Derb] My own kids have in fact been referring to me as “Squidward” for some time, as I think I’ve noted on The Corner. Can’t see any resemblance myself, but there you are.
Perhaps I should take up the clarinet.