Alas, Kathryn, there is one insurmountable drawback to this scheme, as noted
in one of my my “Straggler” columns.
“As badly as I fare in front of still cameras, I am simply terrible on TV.
When you do a TV show nowadays the studio gives you a videotape of your
appearance. I made the mistake of watching one of these once. At first I
wondered if they had got my clip mixed up with some other fellow’s – some
mumbling, shifty-eyed creep with gray teeth, a swindler finally cornered by
the network’s best investigative team after a career of bilking widows out
of their savings via fraudulent home-improvement schemes. Then I recognized
the tie, which I had spent some minutes picking out as being the one least
likely to distract viewers from the enchantment of my address. I consulted a
neighbor who I knew had watched the show. How had I done? There was an
ominous pause. ‘Well, John,’ he said at last, ‘you *are* allowed to look
into the camera, you know…’ I have now made eight or nine TV appearances,
but I cannot help noticing that I have never been invited back for a second
appearance on any show.”—-NRODT, 12/8/03
Now, I might be willing to spring for cosmetic surgery and acting lessons,
given the right incentive. A co-host deal with Linda Vester, perhaps?….