That’s the headline on a movie-screening invitation I got today for the film Secret Things. The invitation says the movie is “the story of two gorgeous young women who discover the power of sex as a tool to climb the social ladder.” Whoa, there, Columbus–what else did you discover? And that’s not even the funniest thing about this invitation. It also quotes a critic who says that the director’s movies “rarely cross the Atlantic, as their primal excesses are often excoriated as childish male fantasies.” Now think about that for a minute: What he’s saying is that this director’s movies are too-childish male fantasies . . . even for the American moviegoing public. I don’t usually comment on movies I haven’t seen, but this one really sounds like a must-miss.