The Observation Post, a more informal blog section in the Military Times (similar to the Corner here on NRO), produced last week some of the finest journalism I’ve ever witnessed, concerning the United States Marine Corps’ crayon preferences.
As almost anyone who has served can tell you, there’s nothing a Devil Dog enjoys more than questioning the sexuality of sailors while exhaling the smoking innards of Marlboro Reds and chowing down on a Crayola 24-pack; if his third wife has left him, he may have to settle for RoseArt. (Also, if he’s in the Third Battalion, Sixth Marines, you may notice his holster is empty, but that lack seems to be a uniquely 3/6 pastime.)
Sarah Sicard asks the question no one was brave enough to ask: What flavors would Marines love packaged with a sharpener more than any other?
Here are a few of her discoveries:
Spam and Eggs
There’s nothing quite like a breakfast of canned pig meat laced with sodium nitrite. And if you’ve got eggs on hand to go with it, you’ve got a happy Marine.
Room-temperature Pabst Blue Ribbon
Ask any Marine, nothing says “Oohrah America” quite like a room-temperature PBR. Nary a night of barracks mayhem was fueled without a little warm beer.
The Color Red
A Marine’s favorite color is also the best flavor: Red. ‘Nuff said.
You can read the full fact-finding report here.
Perhaps NR’s resident Marine, Mark Wright, will suggest some alternatives later. Whatever the case, our troops deserve the best. If that means keeping the lads topped up with chili-mac wax, it’s a sacrifice we taxpayers should gladly support.