Delta Airlines loses a dog, offers a couple hundred bucks and a voucher as compensation. I cannot begin to describe the relentless one-note-Johnnyism of my media jihad if this happened to Cosmo. Every post, column, and TV appearance would end with Delta Delenda Est. Then again, it would be hard to mount such a campaign from my jail cell, which is where I would be after beating the Delta rep senseless upon hearing the news.