The French are so upset about U.S. consumers boycotting their products, they’ve hired Woody Allen as a pitchman. Can you believe it? “I don’t want to freedom kiss my wife,” says Allen in a new ad. “I want to French kiss her.” But wait, there’s more! The French ambassador to the U.S., Jean-David Levitte, has this to say: “When you insult the French people, simply because they are French, then it’s a kind of racist campaign.” Doesn’t it all just make you want to drink a jug of Evian?