John: Forget the fruitcake forms and just visit the gift shop at the monastery. They also make (or at least used to make) bread, which DC supermarkets sometimes carried. It’s and hour or so outside Washington–I went to a retreat there years ago, and got to be a Trappist for the weekend, silently eating while one of the brothers read during dinner, reveling in (English-language) Gregorian chant, etc.
On a sort-of related topic, someone responded to my “parents say the darnedest things” posting with a tongue-in-cheek site on “Old Testament Parenting,” including lines like, “Bite not, lest you be also bitten again. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand.”