Jonah, on the notion that non-gays have functioning gaydar, you should be wary of making airy orientational statements about Canadian men’s figure skating. I refer you to Margaret Carlson’s authoritative treatment of the subject, “McCain and His Gaydar“:
Senator John McCain said last week that he served in the Navy with many gays, although none had come out and identified themselves. When asked how he knew, then, he said, “I think we know by behavior and by attitudes…and lifestyle.”
Now, there’s some straight talk. Just as it’s O.K. for women to call themselves girls, gays can talk about “gaydar,” the scanning device that divides the world by sexual orientation on the basis of superficial characteristics. Straights and straight presidential candidates are generally more circumspect.
Presumably, the OED was just opting for Carlsonian “circumspection.” What a great girl she is.