Greg Gutfeld of Fox News Channel and The Daily Gut has proposed the best response yet to Park51, a.k.a. Cordoba House, the 13-story “community center” and mosque two blocks away from Ground Zero: “I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.”
“This is not a joke,” Gutfeld claims. “I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.”
“As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.”
Gutfeld’s proposal has already gone viral and ideas for names for the bar — conveying the Islamic flavor — have been pouring in from the blogosphere. They include “Al Gayda,” “The Velvet Sword,” “Party Like You’re an Infidel”, “72 Virgins,” and my favorite, “The Ba’ath Party.”
This being New York, Gutfeld’s developers will have to fight their way through a forest of zoning regulations and community opposition. The same people who signed off on a mosque two blocks from Ground Zero will have fits over drinking and dancing. To counter this, I propose that Gutfeld use the same tactics as the Cordobites: Make a complete 360 and say, “A gay bar? Whoever said anything about that? This is a refreshment and recreation center. What do you mean ‘Why this location’? We just happen to like this location. Why, I find your questioning of our intentions insulting and homophobic.”
– Stephanie Gutmann is the author of The Other War: Israeli, Palestinians and the Struggle for Media Supremacy.