The Corner

From Gun Mom

This sounds pretty authoritative.

E-mail:

“Subject: Mom of three gun boys

Okay, here’s the priority of guns, as far as I can tell:

AA1. A gun which shoots an actual projectile, like nerf balls or water.

Appearance IRRELEVANT.

A1. Guns of any type that belong to a friend or cousin, and therefore must be left behind. 1. Guns that look realistic, are connected to a current movie, and make an annoying noise. 2. Guns that resemble #1, but are a knockoff. 3. Guns that are realistic, combined with “extras,” (cowboy hat, superman cape, etc.) with noises that are supplied by the little boy in question. 4. Guns that are realistic, no extras, but noises will always be supplied. 5. Guns made of legos or duplos. Problem: fall apart easily 6. Sticks shaped like guns. 7. Toys shaped like guns. 8. Sandwiches bitten into the shape of a gun. 9. Fingers. Incidentally, high on the “cool” list you will also find sword-type toys

(see: lightsaber,) pointed sticks, and throwing rocks (definition: any rock I can pick up.) You will not find Loving Family dolls anywhere on that list. You will not find fuzzy bunnies, unless they are breathing fuzzy bunnies. You will not find rainbows, Care Bears, or CD’s about nonviolence. Our DVD of the Lone Ranger is pretty popular, though.”

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