The Corner

Here Come the Conspiracy Theories

I can only imagine how many sweaty-toothed madmen on the interwebs are going to be using this “there was no ash cloud” story to peddle all sorts of grand theories about what really happened. Much like the anthrax scare in Close Encounters of the Third Kind (or pretty much everything FEMA did in The X-Files), it is now obvious to all with eyes to see that while the ash cloud didn’t cover the UK or Western Europe it was excellent cover (get it?) for the movement of space ships, the island in Lost, the secret island (different island, natch) hiding place of Bruce Lee, Elvis, and Osama bin Laden, the launch of any number of spy satellites, and/or the shorting of airline stocks by, among others, the Pentaveret, the Masons, the Jews and the Shriners.

Oh, and I’m sure the Loch Ness monster has a role in this, too.

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