The Corner

How Could Derb?

John has disgracefully mangled Cole Porter’s rhyme. It should be:

You’re The Top!

You’re Miss Pinkham’s tonic

You’re The Top!

You’re a high colonic

You’re the burning heat

Of a bridal suite in use

You’re the breasts of Venus

You’re King Kong’s penis

You’re self-abuse

You’re an arch

In the Rome collection

You’re the starch

In a groom’s erection

I’m a eunuch who

Has just been through an op

But if, baby, I’m the bottom

You’re The Top!

Mark Steyn is an international bestselling author, a Top 41 recording artist, and a leading Canadian human-rights activist.