John has disgracefully mangled Cole Porter’s rhyme. It should be:
You’re The Top!
You’re Miss Pinkham’s tonic
You’re The Top!
You’re a high colonic
You’re the burning heat
Of a bridal suite in use
You’re the breasts of Venus
You’re King Kong’s penis
You’re self-abuse
You’re an arch
In the Rome collection
You’re the starch
In a groom’s erection
I’m a eunuch who
Has just been through an op
But if, baby, I’m the bottom
You’re The Top!