Yet another Kennedy heir with Kennedy hair decides to run for office.
Sad news: Another Kennedy is running for office. I suppose it was inevitable; every few election cycles this accursed family reemerges into the political news like a recurrent outbreak of hives, as its clan members uselessly shuffle their way in and out of Congress — and that was all before Donald Trump appointed the craziest one of the batch to be his secretary of health and human services.
Now it’s Jack Schlossberg who has announced his 2026 candidacy for office, running in the Democratic primary for New York’s twelfth congressional district, to replace retiring longtime legislator/lawn gnome Jerrold Nadler as representative for wealthy central Manhattan. (Median property value: $1.21 million.)
Who is Jack Schlossberg, you might ask? What is there particularly to dislike about this man, other than that he is rich, young, and a Kennedy heir with Kennedy hair?
That would actually have been sufficient for me. As the child of Caroline Kennedy-Schlossberg — a woman who is herself historically noteworthy only as the distant descendant of a racist bootlegger — it is safe to say that Jack Schlossberg is the son and heir of nothing in particular, only the family’s vices and not even the Kennedy name itself. But it’s probably also worth mentioning that he is wholly inexperienced in politics, has achieved nothing whatsoever so far in his life, and was mostly heretofore known for his social media meltdowns.
Schlossberg attended all the best schools — a Yale undergraduate degree, a Harvard Law and Harvard Business double-degree — and last year finally parlayed his studies into his first honest working gig: as a political correspondent for Vogue magazine. I assume it must have been a terrible grind, since he tired of it within a year, as he tired of playing Twitter pundit. Last February, after a series of public meltdowns, he suddenly deleted all of his social media accounts.
It seems that he has since recovered, and now — with all the expertise he has gathered during his time as a political writer — he has chosen to return to the authentic Kennedy state of nature: office-seeking. I wish him all the luck in the world next summer as he tries to convince one of the wealthiest districts in the nation to vote for an unlikable but well-pedigreed neophyte. The Carnival of Fools always needs a fresh supply of performers, and whether Schlossberg fails or — even better! — succeeds, his candidacy alone is a rancidly amusing reminder that generational privilege isn’t quite dead yet.