The Corner

I do not like this mission-plan

Bill Bennett has a contest going on his radio show, soliciting creative song lyrics on the theme of supporting the troops but not the mission. He just read this entry on the air:

Hey, guys,

 Well, I heard that Mrs. Bennett didn’t want Bill singing so much on the

show, so I changed the rules a little bit for this one.  Instead of a song,

I put together a retelling of Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham.”  It scans

more or less identically to the original, takes about three minutes to read

through.

 Hope you like it!

 tony

 The Mission-Plan

 That mission-plan!

 That mission-plan!

 I do not like

 that mission plan!

 Do you like

 The soldier-man?

 I do like

 the soldier-man!

 I just don’t like

 the mission plan!

 Would you like it

 here or there?

 I do not like it

 here or there.

 I do not like it

 anywhere.

 I do not like

 the mission plan.

 But I like

 the soldier-man.

 Can you see

 the jihad-man?

 Can you see him

 in Iran?

 I cannot see him

 in Iran.

 I cannot see

 the jihad-man!

 And if I saw him

 in Iraq,

 I?d have to take

 my protest back!

 I do not see the jihad-man,

 I do not like this mission-plan!

 Would you fight him

 in St. Paul?

 Would you oppose

 jihad at all?

 Not in St. Paul,

 nowhere at all!

 Not in Iran,

 Not in Iraq!

 I will not fight him here or there,

 I will not fight him anywhere.

 I still support the soldier-man,

 although I hate the mission-plan!

 Would you? Could you?

 Cut the funds?

 Take the money,

 and then run?

 I would not,

 could not,

 cut the funds!

 You may cut them.

 You will see!

 Take the cash for

 AFDC!

 I would not, could not cut the funds.

 Nor give the cash to anyone!

 I need to get elected soon.

 I cannot cut the money, loon!

 I do not like this mission plan,

 but the voters are big fans!

 al-Sadr left his cozy house,

 bin Laden’s hiding like a mouse!

 The mission-plan is working well!

 My strategy may go to hell?

 A vote! A vote!

 A vote! A vote!

 Could you, would you,

 take a vote?

 Not on the floor, nor in committee,

 A vote right now would be a pity!

 I could not vote now to de-fund,

 Two thousand eight is all but won!

 I will not criticize Barack,

 Or Clinton?s vote to hit Iraq.

 I do not like the mission-plan.

 Or the ignorant soldier-man!

 Whoops I didn’t say that right,

 please don’t quote me, I was tight!

 Say!

 In the dark?

 You’re in the dark?

 Did you just make a dumb remark?

 I will not comment

 on that remark.

 Would you, could you, on the news?

 I would not, could not,

 on the news!

 I support the soldier-man!

 I just don’t like this mission plan!

 I do not see jihadi-man,

 in Iraq or in Iran!

 I did not say “I don’t respect?”

 I told a joke, to bad effect.

 The Right can all just go to heck!

 You do not want

 to win the war?

 I do not

 want to,

 anymore.

 Won’t you fight the

 bad jihadi?

 I’m afraid

 of Sadr’s

 Mahdi

 Do you want to

 flee right now?

 No, let’s “redeploy” somehow!

 I cannot vote to cut supplies–

 voters prize our soldiers’ lives.

 But I so hate the Bushie-man,

 that I need to have a plan!

 I?ll say I love the soldier-man!

 Really, truly, I’m a fan!

 Just ‘cause I don’t want to pay him,

 Does not mean I’m seeking mayhem…

 Since I cannot cut the money,

 I’ll try to make the PLAN look funny.

 (And also call the Prez a dummy)

 I do not like

 this mission-plan!

 But I do love the

 soldier-man!

 You love the soldier-

 man, you say.

 Then support him,

 every day!

 Read the plan again, I say.

 Say!

 If you will let me be,

 I will read it.

 You will see.

 Oops!

 This is a groovy plan!

 This plan could make a better land.

 This surge-y plan, this “take and hold,”

 Could make jihadis much less bold?

 I will not support it, though!

 My party says it has to go!

 Two thousand eight is near, we’ll win it;

 I can’t switch parties, like Bill Bennett.

 I do not have the courage to,

 defeat’s my only happy news.

 And I will focus on the bad.

 And I will make Iraqis sad.

 I will not fight jihadis there.

 I will not fight them ANYWHERE!

 This is Bush’s

 mission-plan.

 I can’t

 support it?

 until Hillary flip-flops and says it was hers.

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