From my mailbag, the most compelling defense of the penny I’ve seen all day:
A penny is to money as entropy is to thermodynamics. When you spend money, you get some useful work (the stuff you bought), some useful left over energy (large change), and some energy lost to entropy (pennies). Sure, if you get enough pennies together, you can make most of them useful, but some will always be lost to the pavement, cracks between the cushions, and not having quite enough to fill a roll of pennies.
Just as you can’t get rid of entropy in thermodynamics, I don’t think you’ll
ever be able to get rid of fiscal entropy; the most you can do is turn nickels into the new unit of entropy.
Why must I endure the cursed copper? Because we live in a fallen world, ever so slowly dissolving into disorder. The explanation is elegant, thoroughly conservative, and theologically sound (what is the source of entropy if not original sin?)
Ladies and gentlemen, consider my objection to the penny hereby withdrawn.