The Corner

I’m a Jerk Plus….

From a reader:

“Nevertheless, I do hope the Red Sox lose in the World Series. There aren’t many curses left in modern society most people still believe in. We’ve sanitized the culture of such mysticisms.”

I could just call you a jerk and be done with it, but I’m going to take your argument for what it is – a plea to protect whatever vestiges remain of mystery in American culture. Sure, things have gotten super-rational in this modern era – nothwithstanding the lunacy of the American left which by alternate turns believes in hobgoblins and Santa Claus – but how does the Red Sox winning the World Series diminish the curse? A Red Sox victory will be the signal that the curse has taken up a new residency – New York. Depriving New York residents of the joy that comes from winning the World Series seems appropriate. Bostonians have been punished by the Gods long enough for their resentful, morose and eccentric ways. We have been faithful to the Gods and are deserving of at least one victory.

“Lord hear our prayer. Pay no heed to Jonah Goldberg.”

And while we’re at it, it’s tough to deny that it’s time for the Yankee Fans to suffer for their everlasting hubris. Last night, I called a friend of mine from New York and told him “You can f***g keep A-Rod!” Too my surprise, my friend picked up the phone. He had been to the game and left early! He left before the last out! He was back from the stadium in time to take my call at midnight, moments after the game was over! Talk about disloyalty! A Red Sox fan would never in a million years leave before the last out. Such disloyalty and hubris deserves punishment. That and George Steinbrenner is a fat bag of s–t who DID pay too much for A-Rod! Boo-Yeah!

But I digress. Regarding your impulse to let the Red Sox fans suffer for the greater good this demonstrates that you sir, are indeed a leftist and should be ousted forever from the masthead of NRO. One question posited to me in graduate school is “If you could torture one baby forever to bring peace and happiness to society-at-large, would you do it?” I never heard anyone say outright yes, but I know the leftists had to think about it. It’s only a hop skip and a jump from consigning the Red Sox fans to everlasting suffering for the greater good to torturing that baby. Makes me wonder just how committed you are to the pro-life movement! (How’s that for being a bit unhinged? You want the Red Sox to lose the World Series and by extension, are a baby killer!… I need some sleep. I’m starting to sound like Al Gore of Red Sox nation.)

But God I hate the Yankees. The way the Dems hate Bush.

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