The Corner

On an Independent Bid, a Third Candidate

I know a helluva lot less about practical politics than Karl, the Ax, and the rest of the pros. But it seems to me there is an opening for an independent candidate — someone who can offer relief to those who can’t stomach either Hillary or Trump. I imagine this opening is quite narrow. A thread-the-needle thing.

I wish to tell a story, and, as so often with me, it will be about golf.

Jim Thorpe was the guest star at an outing. (I’m talking about Jim Thorpe the professional golfer, not the decathlete who was dubbed “The World’s Greatest Athlete.”) The deal was, Thorpe would play one hole with each group. That way, everyone got to see him, jive with him, and so on. Thorpe is a marvelous personality, as well as a marvelous player, of course.

Thorpe joined a particular group on a hole that was very narrow — tree-lined on each side. He squinted and said, “Hmmm. Narrow. But a golf ball’ll fit through there!” I have no doubt that he piped it down the middle, leaving ample room on either side.

Anyway, I regard this as a lesson for life.

Before I go, let me say a quick word about the Libertarian nominee, Gary Johnson. I’m afraid his views are too eccentric for many of us who are longing for an alternative to Trump-Hillary. But he polls at something like 10 percent. And if Gary Johnson can do that — doesn’t that show there’s an appetite for an alternative to Trump-Hillary? How many of the respondents even know who Johnson is? They simply know he’s neither Trump nor Hillary.

My problem is, I don’t trust the Libertarians to safeguard American security. The Burning Man ethos and governmental responsibility do not mix. How are they going to stop incoming missiles? By holding up their bongs? How will they repel the enemy? By choking them with marijuana smoke? Offering to have sex with them?

The Libertarians, in my view, are not a serious option in a serious time. Neither is Donald J. Trump. And Hillary Clinton? Good grief: The likes of me have been typing against her since 1992, if not 1991. We were doing everything we could to stop her when Trump was praising her, giving her money, and insisting that she be at his wedding.

What a pass. (Have I said that already?)


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