Earlier this week, as the soccer — not football, as those tea-sipping ninnies over on the other side of the Atlantic insist on calling it — World Cup kicked into gear, Dominic Pino argued:
Soccer was likely very fun when it was created as one of the first organized sports and people first had free time because they didn’t need to work on a farm all day just to stay alive. A relatively small number of Americans still enjoy watching soccer, and our panoply of subcultures and idiosyncrasies is one of the things that makes us great. But, as it has done in many other areas, American innovation has delivered better alternatives, even ones where you’re allowed to use your hands and can frequently score more than three points.
At the time, I agreed, with a few modifiers:
I partially dissent from my esteemed colleague @DominicJPino in that I think the condensed 10-minute highlight reels are fun to watch, but share his righteous jingoistic disdain for the idea that Americans should subject themselves to the full 90 minuteshttps://t.co/3GBq8Ej4vS
— Nate Hochman (@njhochman) November 22, 2022
But as American soccer Twitter (whose existence I had studiously ignored up until about 30 minutes ago) lights up with patriotic fervor, and I’ve had the game running in the background as I work, I can’t help but get sucked in — just a little bit. So here’s my pledge: If our boys in blue advance to the next round — having pulled off an upset with a draw against the heavily favored English today — I’ll care about soccer. At least until they lose again.
I’m told by friends who actually pay attention to these things that this U.S. men’s team is America’s “golden generation”: It’s “the second-youngest roster in Qatar,” and “on paper at least, perhaps the most talented squad in its history,” Axios reports. As I said on Twitter, it’s my God-given right as an American to only care about the sports that the United States is good at. That is, after all, why we fought a revolution against the Brits: Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and an autonomous sports tradition untainted by the Old World. But I admit: It would be deliciously, exceptionally American to beat the Euros at the one sport where they’ve consistently trounced us. Go U.S.A.