California’s former congresswoman and failed gubernatorial candidate retires from politics to embrace her destiny as a scolding bookmarm.
Sad news from the world of japery: Carnival of Fools stalwart Katie Porter — once a failed California member of the House of Representatives, now also a failed California gubernatorial candidate — has announced that she’s hanging up her clown nose and floppy shoes and retiring from politics altogether. “I am closing the door on being a candidate,” Porter said — and because this is Katie Porter, there’s always an implied threat that she might slam it shut on your fingers.
It’s a body blow for the Carnival, of course, as Porter was one of our star performers: a humorless, hectoring scold known for her penchant for spectacular acts of physical and verbal violence. Porter once poured a pot of scalding mashed potatoes on her husband’s head after an argument. (Thankfully, he is now divorced from her and, one assumes, out of immediate danger.)
Her staffers were less lucky — with a long-standing reputation as one of Washington’s most beastly bosses, Porter ritually abused them, sometimes seemingly for sport. (Nobody was even terribly surprised to see video footage of her savagely tearing the head off a staffer who “got in her f***ing shot” during a Zoom meeting — I was disappointed to not see at least one briefing binder thrown.)
It’s more than fitting, then, that what destroyed Porter’s career was the very same hair-trigger temper that she inflicted on everyone for years behind closed doors. Porter’s candidate interview in October 2025 with CBS News’ Julie Watts — in which Porter snidely criticized the first question she was asked, whined about not wanting to have an “unhappy experience” or be on camera, and walked out after three minutes — was one of those stunningly public implosions you rarely get to see from a politician. In that moment, it was obvious to voters that she was the single most unlikable woman in California politics.
So now she’s gone. But worry not — Porter has found a new career: “bookfluencer.” Not a joke! She has rebranded her Instagram account to “Katie Porter Turns the Page.” As she explains, “It’s partly a reference to a new chapter in life, to the change, but also to something I do a lot, which is turn the page when reading.”
That’s right, folks. Who wouldn’t want to sign up for the Katie Porter Book Club? I hope she monetizes it — imagine a tier for members who pay for the privilege of being personally insulted by Katie! As they say, “Water ultimately finds its own level.” I’m glad to see Porter embracing her destiny as a scolding bookmarm.