The Corner

Food

Lament over a Blueberry Bagel

Dear Panera,

Our relationship has been on the rocks for years, but this morning was the last straw.

First, it was the music. You ditched the classical tunes for burdensome pop ballads, killing the once-cozy atmosphere.

Then, it was the prices. Overcharging me for a tasteless apple is one thing, but hiding costs and using confusing mix ’n’ match “deals” so I’d spend more was very rude.

Also, can we just point out how hypocritical it is that you put the calorie count next to each menu item, and yet you still think that a bread bowl with a baguette on the side counts as a balanced meal?

And let’s not forget your lemonade fiasco.

Honestly, I could have overlooked most of your flaws, because, despite my annoyance at your rarely working Wi-Fi, your ubiquitous locations make it easy to work on the road. But your recent menu “update” is truly flawed.

Why on God’s green earth would you remove the blueberry bagel and leave the multigrain bagel flat? Whoever made that decision should probably not be working in the food industry.

This is a travesty, and it shows just how far you’ve fallen.

Sincerely,

Depressed in Dayton

Sarah Schutte is the podcast manager for National Review and an associate editor for National Review magazine. Originally from Dayton, Ohio, she is a children's literature aficionado and Mendelssohn 4 enthusiast.
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