It opens next week. I saw it, and here’s the thing: It’s unbelievably bad. O I’m telling you this because movie critics won’t. So far all the early reviews — all of them, from Variety to the Hollywood Reporter to Time magazine — have been favorable. Why? Because while the movie critics of my long-ago youth were middlebrow snobs suspicious of populist entertainment, today’s critics have turned into toadies. They are afraid of being on an audience’s bad side, afraid that a movie they will pan might really strike a chord. Since it’s a foregone conclusion that the final Star Wars is going to make a jillion dollars, the safe thing for critics to do is say nice things about it. The only nice thing I can think to say about it is that it’s not quite as mindspinningly wretched as its predecessor, Attack of the Clones, but it’s plenty awful anyway. Even Yoda gives a rotten performance. Go see it if you must when it opens next week, but at least you got one fair warning here.