Nobody can tell me why NRO does not, like the New York Times, have a perfume correspondent.
In yet another pitch for giving me the job, I note this new line of scents inspired by the late great H. P. Lovecraft, writer of gothic fiction, onlie begetter of the Cthulhu Mythos, and introducer to us old sci-fi/fantasy fans of numerous useful & evocative words: “eldritch,” “miasmal,” “cacodæmoniacal,” and many others. I have even quoted the master in NRO columns, I think . . . yep.
A sample from the H. P. Lovecraft line of perfumes:
NIGHT-GAUNT … The scent of their slick, rubbery hides is bittersweet, ticklish, and skin-creeping: something akin to yuzu, white grapefruit, and kumquat mixed with the snow-dusted flowers of Mount Ngranek.
A dab of that behind the ears should guarantee an eldritch shriek, if not a cacodæmoniacal ululation, from your loved one.