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More Monkeys


“Rich, perhaps you’ve already gotten this one but here’s a story from the

newest Onion.

Chimp Study On Human-Evasion Response To Feces-Hurling Nearly Complete MADISON, WI—Chimpanzees at the University of Wisconsin’s Primate Laboratory are nearing completion of a two-year study on human-evasion response to hurled feces, sources reported Tuesday. “Our research shows that Homo sapiens experience extreme agitation and an urge to flee when pelted with baseball-sized lumps of primate scat,” said Dr. Jingles, speaking from his

research cage. “In 10 out of 10 cases, our test subjects retreated to the

far corner of the room and screamed, ‘Stop! Stop! AIIIIGH!’” Dr. Jingles

first made his mark in science in 1993, when he earned a Nobel Prize for

conclusively proving the deliciousness of bananas.


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