The Corner

Morning Groans and Icelandic Humor

The two are actually synonymous. I’ve had two too many Icelandic roommates and colleagues over the years, so without naming the guilty party, and without vouching for Icelandic humor, I pass these on without comment:

1. It’s a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes. We should wait awhile for the dust to settle.

2. I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”.

3. It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.

4. Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.

5. Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.

6. Waiter, there’s volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it’s a no-fly zone.

7. Richard Curtis is working on a new rom-com about people stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is “Lava Actually.”

8. I left my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau, and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.

9. Volcano in Iceland. What next, Earthquake in Asda?

10. Woke this morning to find every surface in the house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulfur in the air. No change, I’ve been married to that bone-idle slob for 20 years.

Of course, what s/he left off here was that old classic: What’s the capital of Iceland? (25 cents).

Michael Rubin is a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, senior lecturer at the Naval Postgraduate School’s Center for Civil-Military Relations, and a senior editor of the Middle East Quarterly.

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