The Corner

Must . . . Control . . . Blink . . . Rate

From a viewer:

Dear Mr. Goldberg,

I’ve seen you a few times now on Fox News, and it’s obvious you are becoming more comfortable and have dropped a lot of the AHHs and UHMs you started out with, but you might ask some of the regulars there for advice on how to better control your blink rate. If you look back at this morning’s tape you’ll likely notice quite a difference between the split screen of Ms. Kelly and yourself as your eyes were blinking up a storm. I realize its appearance over substance, but sometimes people can’t get to the substance if the presentation is off.

Thanks, but here’s the thing. I’m  actually blinking Morse Code, albeit in Esperanto. If you watch the tape today, I’m talking about the death book and the V.A. with my mouth, but I’m blinking out a string of grotesque obscenities, family recipes, and my own alternative ending to the Lord of the Rings with my eyes. If you spend six or seven days translating it, you’ll be very, very impressed. I strongly encourage you to do so.

Once, a long time ago, when I was on Larry King, I said the most devastating things to Lanny Davis in eye-blinked Cimmerian. It makes the drudgery of television far more entertaining for me and I’d be loath to give it up, by Crom.

Jonah Goldberg, a senior editor of National Review and the author of Suicide of the West, holds the Asness Chair in Applied Liberty at the American Enterprise Institute.

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