One of the best decisions the founders of our republic made was to abolish titles of nobility. It certainly helped us avoid establishing something like the English class system — a result for which I, as an American, am deeply grateful. But there is a universal human impulse behind such titles, and this was never clearer to me than earlier today, when I saw a truck with the logo “Sir Grout.” (No, I did not stop the grout-and-tile cleaner and ask whether his title was hereditary or honorary, or whether he engages in debates in the House of Lords with Sir Speedy.)
UPDATE: Many thanks to the readers who pointed out that “Sir” is not a title of aristocracy. I am nonetheless glad that we have, in this country, “James Carville” and “Glenn Beck,” as opposed to “Sir James Carville” and “Sir Glenn Beck.”