The Corner

Nothing Creepy at All About the NYS Democratic Committee

As John Fund reports, the New York State Democratic Committee has sent menacing letters to registered Democrats who haven’t voted recently. The letters state pointedly that “we will be reviewing voting records . . . to determine whether you joined your neighbors who voted in 2014. . . . If you do not vote this year, we will be interested to hear why not.” It was mailed out statewide, though most of New York State’s Democrats are concentrated in the New York City area.

The committee points out that such letters are commonplace in other states (albeit usually without the idiosyncratic New York notion of tact). Still, New Yorkers are reacting with surprise and outrage, which suggests that the Democrats’ ground game may be no better than that of the Giants.

Anyway, speaking of shameless imitations, I have taken a cue from my colleague Charlie Cooke and rummaged through the trash bin outside NYSDC headquarters. Amidst the empty Starbucks latte cups, rusted Dukakis buttons, and aïoli-stained copies of The Nation, I found the following:

NYSDC REMINDER TO NON-VOTING DEMOCRATS

DRAFT VERSION

Yo, [insert name],

We got friends at the Board of Elections, and they tell us you’ve been shirking your friggin’ civic duty big time. Our connections say you haven’t cast a vote since that guy Pataki was governor. Not one goddamn vote.

You got a lotta chutzpah there, bro. Capisce? I mean, I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

(Oh, and don’t mind my buddy Frank here; he just likes to smack that nightstick into his hand. Helps him stay calm, know what I mean?)

Listen, we got a good what I like to call an arrangement going. Like, I’d sure hate to see your rent control revoked, but those state senators don’t work for peanuts. Be a shame if you suddenly had to pay market rate because the wrong guy got elected.

And that contract your company was awarded to satisfy the state’s gender quota? Someone could just happen to notice that the owner of record is your daughter, who’s still in high school. Like I say, pal, public information.

What’s that? You find it difficult to get out of the house on Election Day? Hey Frank, he says he finds it “difficult to get out of the house.” Well, in that case, I think we might just have to take you for a little ride . . . to the polls, I mean. Yeah, that’s right, to the polls. Good one, eh, Frank?

Look, buddy, I’ll cut to the chase here. On Election Day you got two choices: either get out and vote, or find an illegal alien to do it for you. Elsewise the city just might decide to shut down your entire block for pavement repairs — and you know those boys don’t work no overtime.

You got a problem with that?

Later, pal.

Your Friends at the NYSDC

Fred Schwarz — Fred Schwarz is a deputy managing editor of National Review.

Most Popular

Elections

In Defense of the Electoral College

Senator Elizabeth Warren has joined a growing chorus within the Democratic party in calling for the abolition of the Electoral College. Speaking at a forum in Mississippi on Monday night, Warren said that she hoped to ensure that “every vote matters” and proposed that “the way we can make that happen is ... Read More
Elections

Stick a Fork in O’Rourke

If, as I wrote last week here, Joe Biden may save the Democratic party from a horrible debacle at the polls next year, Beto O’Rourke may be doing the whole process a good turn now. Biden, despite his efforts to masquerade as the vanguard of what is now called progressivism, is politically sane and, if ... Read More
National Security & Defense

In Defense of the Iraq War

Today is the 16th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, and Twitter is alive with condemnations of the conflict -- countered by precious few defenses. Yet I believed the Iraq War was just and proper in 2003, and I still believe that today. When Donald Trump condemned the war during the 2015 primary campaign and ... Read More
U.S.

The War on Red Caps Roars On

Three recent prosecutions suggest that President Trump’s supporters who have endured abuse and violence for wearing “Make America Great Again” hats will receive justice. Police arrested Ryan M. Salvagno, 19, of Somerset, N.J., on February 27. Two days earlier, authorities say, he hounded an ... Read More