The Corner

Nothing Creepy at All About the NYS Democratic Committee

As John Fund reports, the New York State Democratic Committee has sent menacing letters to registered Democrats who haven’t voted recently. The letters state pointedly that “we will be reviewing voting records . . . to determine whether you joined your neighbors who voted in 2014. . . . If you do not vote this year, we will be interested to hear why not.” It was mailed out statewide, though most of New York State’s Democrats are concentrated in the New York City area.

The committee points out that such letters are commonplace in other states (albeit usually without the idiosyncratic New York notion of tact). Still, New Yorkers are reacting with surprise and outrage, which suggests that the Democrats’ ground game may be no better than that of the Giants.

Anyway, speaking of shameless imitations, I have taken a cue from my colleague Charlie Cooke and rummaged through the trash bin outside NYSDC headquarters. Amidst the empty Starbucks latte cups, rusted Dukakis buttons, and aïoli-stained copies of The Nation, I found the following:



Yo, [insert name],

We got friends at the Board of Elections, and they tell us you’ve been shirking your friggin’ civic duty big time. Our connections say you haven’t cast a vote since that guy Pataki was governor. Not one goddamn vote.

You got a lotta chutzpah there, bro. Capisce? I mean, I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

(Oh, and don’t mind my buddy Frank here; he just likes to smack that nightstick into his hand. Helps him stay calm, know what I mean?)

Listen, we got a good what I like to call an arrangement going. Like, I’d sure hate to see your rent control revoked, but those state senators don’t work for peanuts. Be a shame if you suddenly had to pay market rate because the wrong guy got elected.

And that contract your company was awarded to satisfy the state’s gender quota? Someone could just happen to notice that the owner of record is your daughter, who’s still in high school. Like I say, pal, public information.

What’s that? You find it difficult to get out of the house on Election Day? Hey Frank, he says he finds it “difficult to get out of the house.” Well, in that case, I think we might just have to take you for a little ride . . . to the polls, I mean. Yeah, that’s right, to the polls. Good one, eh, Frank?

Look, buddy, I’ll cut to the chase here. On Election Day you got two choices: either get out and vote, or find an illegal alien to do it for you. Elsewise the city just might decide to shut down your entire block for pavement repairs — and you know those boys don’t work no overtime.

You got a problem with that?

Later, pal.

Your Friends at the NYSDC

Fred Schwarz — Fred Schwarz is a deputy managing editor of National Review.

Most Popular


The Media Fell for Elizabeth Warren’s Spin

Do you want to know what media bias looks like? Earlier today, Massachusetts senator Elizabeth Warren released DNA test results that confirmed that she misled employers, students, and the public about her Native American heritage for years. Bizarrely, all too many members of the media treated the results as ... Read More

A Free People Must Be Virtuous

Dear Reader (Even those of you who didn’t seem to notice or care that I failed to file this “news”letter on Friday), So I’m sitting here at Gate C6 at O’Hare waiting for my flight home. I am weary, pressed for time, in desperate need of a shower, and filled with a great sense of dread for the work ... Read More
Politics & Policy

The World Keeps Not Ending

We were not supposed to have made it this far. George Orwell saw night descending on us in 1984. Orwell was, on paper, a radical, but in his heart he was an old-fashioned English liberal. He dreamed of socialism but feared socialists. He feared them because he knew them. I was in the sixth grade in 1984, but I ... Read More
PC Culture

‘White Women’ Becomes a Disparaging Term

Using “white men” as a putdown is no longer extreme enough for the Left. Now it is moving on to doing the same for “white women.” How rapidly this transpired. It was less than two years ago that the approximately 98.7 percent of white women working in media who were openly rooting for Hillary Clinton ... Read More