The Corner


Now All the COVID-19 Variants Will Sound Like Fraternities

Director General of the World Health Organization (WHO) Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus speaks during a news conference on the situation of the coronavirus (COVID-2019), in Geneva, Switzerland, February 28, 2020. (REUTERS/Denis Balibouse)

The World Health Organization announces it has “assigned simple, easy to say and remember labels for key variants of SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, using letters of the Greek alphabet.”

The U.K. variant is now named Alpha, the South African variant is now named Beta, the Brazilian variant is now named Gamma, and the Indian variant is now named Delta.

Yeah, that’s a swell idea, fellas. There’s no way that a bit down the road, the terms beta, zeta, eta, and theta will get mixed up.

And I’m sure the ruler of China will love it when we finally get to “Xi.” Then again, some might argue we’ve been dealing with the “Xi Virus” for quite a while now.

It’s going to sound like we’re being attacked by a bunch of fraternities and sororities. Get your jokes about guys catching the “beta virus” in early.

With all of that said, I probably should have just called this one The Omega Virus.


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